


I'm Sorry

by IMeMyandMine



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-20
Updated: 2015-07-20
Packaged: 2018-04-10 05:27:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4378997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IMeMyandMine/pseuds/IMeMyandMine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sehun doesn't know how much he loves Yixing until he's gone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Sorry

**Author's Note:**

> This is x-posted from AFF

“It’s over.”

That’s it. That’s all it took to break Yixing. Sehun never truly cared for Yixing and his presence was just there for pleasure and he’d throw him away when he was done. But, Yixing loved Sehun. He loved him dearly and it was oh so heart breaking when he’d seen Sehun with someone else. He didn’t mention it to him the next time they saw each other he just let it go. It continued on. Yixing continued seeing Sehun with other people and he never said anything, he just continued to keep quiet like always.

“Can I see you? It’ll be the last time. Please… Sehun.”

He could hear Sehun sigh into the phone and move around the room but when he got a small “fine” he smiled. The line was cute after that. He waited not sure if Sehun would really come or not. The knock on his door signaled Sehuns arrival. He stood to open the door and when he did Sehun just walked in without greeting him. Yixing didn’t expect much, so it was fine.

“Why did you want to see me?”

“I wanted to see you before I leave.”

“Where are you going?”

“Away. Somewhere far away. Somewhere where no one can bring me back.”

“How long are you going to be away?”

“Forever.”

“You’re not gonna come back and visit your family?”

“I won’t be able to. They’ll probably visit me lots though. Maybe you will too if I’m lucky.”

“Well then, where are you going?”

“You’ll be notified when I get there.”

“I’m done with your stupid game, Yixing. I’m leaving I have things to do.”

“You always had things to do… yet you would always laze around the city with others. I never understood that   
part of you. You could have told me that you had other lovers. I wouldn’t have gotten mad.”

“You knew?”

“Ever since you were going around with that kid, Jongin, I think that was his name.”

“That was over a year ago.”

“I know and I still I stayed by your side for 11 more months after knowing.”

“You never said anything?”

“You would’ve gotten mad at me saying that I was just accusing you. Don’t go denying it and saying that you aren’t like that. It’s in your nature to be in control and me finding out was out of your control.”

Silence. It went silent and then he got up and left. He didn’t do anything he just got up, put his shoes on and left. It felt almost as if he was never there. It stayed equally as silent for a while. Yixing didn’t move he just sat there looking at the spot that Sehun had occupied not too long ago. After about an hour had passed he got up and went to his room.

The next day would be Saturday. Every Saturday Yixings’ mother would go over and visit him for a short while to make sure he was alright. When the thought of his mother being the one to find his body was scary but he didn’t really even mind anymore.

He lay in bed until sundown and just stared through the window at the fading colors of the sky and how he longed for them to remain that way for eternity. Once the sky was rid of any color he got up and walked to his kitchen. There was a small mess made from earlier and he cleaned it up. As he boiled some water he walked around the apartment cleaning up little messes that he hadn’t noticed before. Once he heard the water kettle begin to whistle he walked back to the kitchen and pulled the kettle off the stovetop and poured its contents into a mug where a tea bag sat.

He walked to his room and heard a small patting on his window and turned to see rain falling. He went back to his original intentions and sat himself down in the chair of his desk and set the mug down atop of the desk. He opened the small drawer on his left and pulled out a small box. He set it on the desk while closing the drawer and pulled close a pen and a piece of paper. He opened the box and took a pill from inside, placing it on his tongue while grabbing his mug and taking a sip from it swallowing the liquid with the pill in tow. He picked up the pen and after every word he wrote a pill made its way into his mouth. After every sentence he would gulp them down with a bit of tea. When he had finished a paragraph he looked into his box and only three pills remained. He’d taken 49 pills already. He signed the note as he started feeling dizzy and grabbed the last three pills. He made his way onto his bed and took the remaining pills with some tea. He closed his eyes and waited to fall asleep.

As Saturday afternoon came around the door to Yixings apartment opened. It was not his mother… it was Sehun. He called out his name a few times and wondered around for a bit until he reached the bedroom. The door was closed which was odd because Yixing hated the door being closed. He opened the door and saw Yixing on the bed. He looked to be sleeping; he seemed paler than normal so Sehun thought he’d gotten sick. As he walked closer he saw no movement coming from Yixing. He wasn’t breathing and Sehun began to panic. He started to shake him but no response came he reached for his phone and called for an ambulance. He looked around the room and saw the paper on his desk. He walked towards it and saw his name written sporadically on the page. He began to read it and tears welled up in his eyes as he came to the final line: Sehun-ah, you were meant to be my reality.

The paramedics came and renounced Yixing as dead. They examined his body and said he had been dead for over 16 hours. Sehun stayed in the background as the police questioned him and as to why he was there. He explained to them that he was Yixing’s ex-boyfriend and he’s come over to apologize. The officer looked at him with a look of sympathy. They took his body away and notified Yixings family.

Yixings mother cried but she said that she had seen it coming as to how he’d been acting lately. She was upset that she hadn’t mentioned anything to him or spoke up about it. Sehun was right next to her comforting her. They hadn’t told either of their parents that they had broken it off yet so naturally she asked him if he had noticed anything wrong with Yixing while they were together recently. He didn’t want to break it to her that they had broken up over a month prior so he simply shook his head and said that he seemed normal just slightly quieter than usual. She nodded and thanked him for being with Yixing until his last moments and that’s when it hit Sehun. He had been the last person to see or hear anything of him and the last things he said to him had been slightly hurtful. When everyone went home Sehun stayed in Yixings apartment walking around taking everything in.

He sat in the same spot as the day before just staring at the wall wishing that Yixings head could be blocking that part of the wall like it usually did. He felt tears start to fall from his face but he didn’t wipe them away he just let them flow and let the stinging in his eyes continue. His phone rang once the sun had set and he was still in the same place. He picked up his phone not checking who it was.

“Sehun. Where are you? We were supposed to meet an hour ago?”

“I’m sorry Joonmyung-hyung. Something happened and I won’t be going anywhere for a while.”

“Sehun, what’s wrong? You sound like you’ve been crying. Tell me where you are I’ll make it better.”

“You can’t. This time money can’t fix it.”

“What happened? Money always fixes everything.”

“YOUR MONEY CAN’T BRING MY BOYFRIEND BACK FROM THE DEAD.”

Sehun hung up the phone and realized that he had called Yixing his boyfriend. In the entirety of their 3 year relationship Sehun had always just called Yixing his partner he’d never called him his boyfriend. Joonmyung was his partner, he had sex with him and he had used him for his money that was it he’d never actually go on dates with him. With Yixing, they hardly ever went out but that’s cause Yixing preferred to stay inside and watch TV and cook for Sehun. He remembered how they’d cuddle up on the couch and watch movies all day not saying anything. He’d never had sex with Yixing he only made love to him. He loved him with all his heart for so long that eventually he just took him for granted, started seeing other people because he didn’t see the harm in it if Yixing never found out. At the end Sehun had been seeing his temporary partners more than he was seeing Yixing and that’s what caused them to break up.

He began to cry again only this time because he realized that Yixing had told him that he was going to do it the day before. He told him and he walked away. He felt dread go through him and he felt like throwing up. Everything started going in slow motion, each second on the clock seemed like an hour and he wondered how he was going to live the rest of his life like this. He didn’t want this to be his life. He wanted Yixing back he wanted him in his arms. He wanted to hold Yixing and tell him how much he loved him and how sorry he was repeatedly. He brought his legs up to his chest and he held himself there crying until he saw the start of a new day begin. The sun still rose as the same time, everyone moved about as if nothing had happened, but he was there sitting cradling himself because Yixing was gone… forever.

“I’m so sorry Yixing. I love you.”  
…

“Wait for me to go to sleep. We’ll be together soon."


End file.
